To move past those feelings of guilt and shame around divorce, I first had to…
It can be hard, when everyone else seems to be having a wonderful time with family and friends, especially if it’s your first holiday time after your breakup.
When you focus on what you feel you’re missing then you will carry an air of lack about you, which means that is going to be what you’ll attract to you. There’s also a strong chance that you’ll be tempted to settle for less than you deserve. On the other hand, if you can feel into having what you really want, and take consistent action to get it, then you will find doors start to open and opportunities begin to present themselves.
If your breakup is new, consider yourself in a process of change, you are on a bridge from your old life to the exciting new life that is waiting for you. Maybe consider the holidays as part of that bridge, a time for renewal and where you can close the old phase of your life ready to receive the new one.
It can also help to look with a new realism at what you definitely won’t miss about the holidays, difficult in laws, or doing something you really didn’t want to do for example. If you are on your own see it as a chance to do something you really want to do – without having to answer to anyone else!
You may not be able to have the old routine, but now you can make a new one, and one aligned to the new life that is waiting for you.
So spend the holidays doing what you want to do, relish your freedom to be able to do that, and greet the New Year with all the zest you can muster.