I'm not keen on New Year's Resolutions because they imply we are not good enough…
Knowing how to let go of anger around your divorce experience can be a huge challenge.
The breakup of a previously committed relationship can trigger more anger than perhaps you’ve ever experienced before. You may be the one on the receiving end of someone’s anger. Or you may find yourself shocked by the strength and depth of your own anger. Or both!
Anger escalates an already difficult situation
The depth of those feelings, and their explosiveness can be a like a bombshell. Anger is a strong emotion that can escalate an already difficult situation.
When anger is being expressed then there is likely to be a similar emotional response by the other person. This in turn adds fuel to an already smouldering fire and can easily result in the situation spiralling out of control.
If we want a resolution and if we want peace, then it’s important to learn how to understand and master anger.
For example, frequently people use the court process to express their frustration because they can’t get past their anger. There is a strong emotional drive to blame or get revenge. On the other hand going to court can be a really expensive way to vent, both financially and emotionally.
That is not to say that the court process isn’t sometimes needed. What we are focusing on here is our own part in any emotional issues. And the incredible thing is, once we deal with our own part that is often enough to have a significant effect on the overall situation. And there are reasons for that.
The need to understand the root of anger
This isn’t about suppressing anger, or any emotions for that matter. If you want peace in your life, inside and out, it is critical to understand where anger really comes from and how to master it and get back in control of it.
And in the video below I am going to share a couple of very simple little techniques that you can do today, to start to make the changes that make a real difference.
Tough love alert!
One of the things that’s important to recognize about anger is that it is something that is inside us already. It will have been inside us since early childhood from experiences that have happened to us since then and how we felt at the time and responded.
If you don’t want to repeat the past, then the patterns set up by these experiences need to be seen, recognised for what they are and then cleared.
There are some powerful writing and speaking-it-out techniques given in the video that you can use that will not only help move the old stuff out. The other benefit is that these techniques will likely give you fresh insights along the way. Grab those and make a note of them. They will help you develop your new life. I also speak about other ways to help minimise the effect of anger on the situation. For example choosing your battles and distancing yourself from another’s anger.
When you realise the root of your own anger it’s easier to see the root of another and therefore easier to avoid reacting back in kind and escalating the situation. In battles no one really wins. It’s exhausting and damaging, not only to you but to everyone also affected by a split. You want a resolution and to move on in your life, not a battle!
Knowing how to let go of anger around your divorce by mastering, not suppressing, it is a huge step to getting to where you really want to be.
Cheering you on in your new life,
Have you checked out my book ‘Rise Again After Divorce’ yet?
It’s available as an eBook, paperback and on audio and you can find it on Amazon here