To move past those feelings of guilt and shame around divorce, I first had to…
A New Year ponder on the shock of divorce.
Whether the divorce was self-initiated or not, whether longed for or a sudden surprise, there are always shocks along the way. And we all know at best shocks are uncomfortable, at worst they are devastating.
The biggest shock can be the total life change divorce brings with it along in its wake. However, it’s rarely, if ever, just about two people deciding they need to part and amicably going their separate ways. Because not only are there repercussions for the two people, involving a total lifestyle change on many levels, there are ripples that run out to children, wider family, friends and often work colleagues too.
Everyone in the former couples’ world is affected to a greater or lesser degree by the breakup. And that usually also involves a fair dose of judgements and opinions too from various parties. While some people will feel the need to ‘take sides’ others will deny there’s any such thing. Because friendships are redrawn, family arrangements and traditions are redefined, the whole experience can get totally overwhelming, unbelievably painful and extremely complex.
Where to find peace?
With everything that is happening it’s no wonder most people going through a long term relationship breakup long for peace. So where can you find it?
Here’s a few ideas.
You can find peace:
- the letting go of outcomes, the non-attachment to things being a certain way.
- nature, walks in forests, on grass or near trees, or if you can, on the beach.
- a sunrise or sunset.
- the stars in a velvety night
- gratitude for what you have.
- caring for the self and giving yourself the priority you deserve.
- breath, the deep breathing out of the old and the breathing in of the new.
So that is my quick new year ponder on the shock of divorce. Now it’s time to get back to the celebrations!
With much love for a peaceful and fulfilling New Year