How to start to rebuild your life after divorce
Divorce or the breakup of a committed long-term relationship can be incredibly difficult and very painful.
One of the reasons it’s so hard is because everything is up in the air, everything is uncertain. Everything that we’ve come to accept as our life is going to go through a change.
It’s the fear of moving into those new areas and negotiating a new life for ourselves that is so painful and difficult if we resist it.
Here are three tips to help you start working on how you can start to rebuild your life after divorce.
1. Accept life is going to be different after divorce
The first thing that we really need to grasp and acknowledge is that life is going to be different. Embrace that as much as you can. Because it’s the resisting that life is changing that causes so much pain.
If you can allow yourself to turn that corner and accept what is happening then that resistance is going to get less. In turn that will allow you to start to move in the direction of a new life and start to create a new life for yourself.
2. Allow yourself to grieve and care for yourself
Now, this might initially sound contradictory, but the second tip is to allow yourself to take time and take stock of what has happened. I don’t mean wallowing in self-pity and victim mode, (though there will likely be some of that!) but rather allowing yourself time to grieve the losses and feel the feelings whilst also acknowledging that life is going to be different. What you don’t want to do is to stay in that place. By allowing yourself to fully grieve the feelings will naturally pass. It’s the resistance to change that can keep you there. So give high priority to self-care and be gentle with yourself.
3. You are not alone, there is support to help rebuild life after divorce
The third thing that is really helpful is to know that you are not the first person to go through the pain and misery of divorce, and that’s good news because it means that you’re not doing this alone. It means there is support out there for you, so reach out and get the help you need. You don’t need to struggle on alone, feeling bad about yourself and your situation. Find like minded others and share this time of growth into new life together.
So those are my three first tips for helping you to start to rebuild your life after divorce. First of all accepting that life is going to be different, secondly allowing yourself to take time and for some self-nurturing and self-care and really valuing yourself and the third is to know that there is support there for you.
Have you checked out my book ‘Rise Again After Divorce’ yet?
It’s available as an ebook, paperback and on audio and you can find it on Amazon here
or contact me direct with any questions