Fear of loneliness around divorce is often one of the reasons that people stay in…
That’s a bold statement! Is it really true that in your life everything is a reflection of you? And not only everything but everyone too. Even when people are being really difficult, or there’s a tough situation happening?
It’s not an easy thing to get your head around. It’s so common to blame others for our issues or situation – and much easier in the short term!
You might already know that we can understand ourselves and can grow, through our relationships with others. But is absolutely everything in our lives, our belongings and every person and situation actually a reflection of us?
Everyone we meet is our mirror.
Both what we like in others and what we don’t like is reflecting back to us an aspect of ourselves. It’s all perfectly coordinated. What we don’t like in others is either something we don’t like in ourselves or something we wish we could do or be.
For example, Tania considers her boss Brian to be overbearing towards her and is shocked to think he might be a reflection of her. She certainly doesn’t consider herself forthright in any way at all. In fact, she is the opposite, she rarely stands up to anyone, preferring to avoid conflict. If she’s really honest with herself, however, she would quite like to have the confidence her boss has. She would like to feel less timid in the world. Brian is showing her where her own assertiveness, her own self-worth, is out of balance.
Peter feels his mother-in-law is too controlling and demanding, but he hasn’t yet recognised the areas in which his own behaviour is both controlling and demanding. Until he does, they will have an ongoing fractious relationship because they are both continually reflecting their behaviour back to the other.
But are your belongings reflecting your life back to you as well?
Look around your home. What do the things there tell you? Is it cluttered with belongings and furniture for example? If so do you feel stuck in any way? Is it hard to see your way forward? Perhaps you find it difficult to make decisions and see them through. Maybe you feel that life happens and there doesn’t seem to be much you can do about it. Have a look to see if your home is showing you a need for space for newness, for growth, for a change to happen in life.
This is about what the simple, every day and ordinary things we have in our lives are telling us.
What about your wardrobe? Is it full of things you love to wear, or are there clothes that you keep ‘just in case’ you might change your mind and want to wear them? Are there items that are serviceable but you don’t really like? What does your wardrobe say about you? Is it telling you that you don’t give to yourself? Perhaps you wear items that you feel are expected of you rather than your own choice. Maybe you don’t feel you have a choice.
Look at your laptop, or your bed, or your saucepans for example. Are they what you really want or did you compromise? Do you find you usually compromise on what you really want? I’m not talking Ferraris or private jets, or mansions here. This is about what the simple, every day and ordinary things we have in our lives are telling us.
Understanding that everyone and everything reflects you helps raise awareness
When we realise what we are doing, when our awareness is broadened and widened, then things can take on a new perspective. From that new perspective life can change for the better. You move from where random things happening to you to being more able to create and determine your life. There will still be challenges, of course, there’s always more to learn and understand. It all begins with an awareness that in your life everything and everyone is a reflection of you. If you want to speed things up, then start consciously looking at what life is reflecting to you. What it is showing you. This is a whole lot better than waiting for awareness to come to you, which can often be via uncomfortable situations!
If you are active about your life, rather than passive you will see the reflection is everywhere. It is not only in relationships but in your home, your work and your lifestyle as well as your health and body. It is life showing you what needs your attention. This is not a random occurrence, it is totally orchestrated. It will keep nudging and eventually shouting at you until action is taken.
Being open to seeing what the different aspects of your life are showing you will transform everything.
If you would like support with addressing these or other lifestyle or health and wellbeing issues then contact me. We can make that happen together.